What a fucking waste of an outfit
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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