i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
