I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
