I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
