Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
