I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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