how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
