walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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