After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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