The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
