Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
