He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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