no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
