Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
