i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
