if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
