how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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