even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize