people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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