i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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