my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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