Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
