dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
