dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So much rum. So many feels.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
