I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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