did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
