I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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