the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
