And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
