Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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