I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
