Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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