well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
