put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
