And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
People in love make me want to vomit
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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