I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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