Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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