So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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