Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
