Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
