What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
