How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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