Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
