fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
