Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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