didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
