She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
