I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
