By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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