just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
