Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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