I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
