Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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